Lesbian Leo Dating: The Attention Whore

Lesbian Leo Dating: The Attention Whore

What's new, pussy cat? If you're dating a Leo, probably you. Cat ladies fall in and out of everlasting love every other week. The problem is that so few people can appreciate the magnificence of their lioness, and so she is forced to move on to new stalking grounds. People born under the sign of Leo truly feel they're the subject of a "Making of the Band" series, or at least "America's Next Top Model." Some of them have yet to understand that there is more to life than being really, really good looking.

Selfish? Most certainly. But if you respect her spot on the food chain, you'll be rewarded with a kind and sentimental lover who will lavish you with good times and the finer things in life. Leo rules the zodiac's fifth house of pleasure, and nobody takes more pleasure in the game of love. Let her see you from afar and pine for you. Play by the rules and wait to return her phone calls, or don't call back at all. Chances are she'll work herself into a lovelorn frenzy and send you a poem in the style of Sylvia Plath. That's when you know she's hooked. Put her out of her misery and her take you on a date. Make sure you dress well -- don't be a fashion victim, but do put on your finest and most appropriate feathers. Trust me, she'll notice and pay you a charming compliment. If you want the night to have a happy ending, lavish her with praise in return.

Once you've made the rounds of clubs and bars where beautiful people go to see and be seen, take her home for a massage and watch your cat start to purr. Of course, she'll love the attention -- and it gives you the opportunity to compliment each part of her body as you work your way down. Once you get there, don't stop -- a slow, teasing approach to tongue play will drive her wild. You can also try riding the lioness, which will give her an unobstructed view of the mirror on her ceiling.

What to expect on a Leo date

• Wining and dining -- pace yourself, it's a marathon.
• Lots of ladies checking out your date.
• Enough about you, let's talk about her.
• Partying like it's 1999.
• A Shakespearian sonnet -- try not to blush.
• A well-appointed penthouse apartment.
• A red lightbulb and a rotating bed. Rrrrrrrrr.

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