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Lesbian Aries Astrology Profile
Click on Pen above to listen to this months Aries horoscope. |
The Lesbian Aries: Follow your flame, Sanjay.
Oh, Aries -- Beneath those nicely defined biceps, you're nothing but a baby. Like an infant you're ruled by the id, that little voice inside that says "I Want!" Love, acceptance, Lucy Liu; once you get a foolish idea in your head there's no stopping you. Perhaps that's harsh. Did I make you cry? Shush. Here's a little trick to make you stop. Ready? 3...2...1. See, you've already forgotten, or been distracted by a shiny object. It's nothing personal, Aries. Your sign occupies the first station on the zodiac, which means you're just beginning the crazy ride through your 12 lives. Ten lifetimes from now when you're a steady old goat, you'll look back and be able to laugh at it all.
Until then, keep your cool and try not to incur any serious head injuries. The ram's horns sometimes make her overconfident, ready to charge ahead despite the risks. Take a close look at your forehead -- any cuts, scars or moles? No, I'm not talking about your eyebrow ring. If you've avoided a head laceration up to this point, pat yourself on the back. Even so, watch out for migraines, head colds and cheesy gender symbol tattoos. In a weak moment, you're vulnerable to all three.
It's not all bad, being a baby. There's nothing like it for innocence, excitement and energy. If you mellow out, it won't be until you're a wise old witch. Until then you'll go for what you want with reckless abandon, whether it's a risky business venture or a sexy wife beater at the other end of the bar. When you get burned, and you're bound to get burned, you'll spend a few minutes licking your wounds and hop right back in the stirrups. It's sexy as hell, in fact. Women are drawn to your straightforward admiration. You're so earnest, even an awful pickup line will come off sounding sweet. Try this little gem: "If I was straight, I'd still date you." You'll sound so inept, she might just take you home and give you pacifier.
The fact that you are inept is news to you, since you're so self-confident. Good, because confidence is attractive too. You might cry every time you break a nail, but hold your head high and walk with a swagger. When you talk, you're almost as convincing as you look. The fact that you have no idea what Proposition 8 is would never stop you from getting into a passionate debate over its merits. Facts? Who needs them. Leave it to a Virgo to niggle over unimportant details. Aries brings a dose of fearless passion to the zodiac.
It's amazing what you can accomplish if you never, ever let good sense get in the way. You might make a good general, because you're foolish and brave. You'll lead the charge and give your life to a cause you believe in, whether it's women's rights or a disputed traffic ticket. As a business owner, you'll make take all kinds of impulsive decisions. If you decided tomorrow that the public cried out for a quality line of hemp construction gear, you'd empty out your 401-K and get to work. Or, you might be a venture capitalist and loose money on other people's bad business decisions. It hate to say it, Aries, but you'll seldom make much money for yourself. On the other hand, you seem to be a lucky charm for others' finances. Laziness is not your vice, and you might just hurl yourself into a venture you don't stand to make much money on. If you want my advice, negotiate your share of the residuals up front and hire an accountant who will do the planing ahead for you.
Of course, one in 1,000 times an Aries will hit the jackpot with her crazy ideas. Even then, don't count on keeping it for long. You might forget birthdays; you're bound to forget anniversaries; and I've never met the Aries who returned a book I lent her. But friends in need will feel the full force of your generosity. If it's a shoulder to cry on, you'll stand there stoically until your shirt is soaked, then start in with the bad jokes; babies hate to see anybody upset. If it's a place to stay, you'll give them your bed. And if it's money, you're likely to set generous terms (if you think of terms at all), then loose the IOU. If it's money you owe, you will probably forget to pay it back. But if somebody reminds you, you're never offended or embarrassed. You'll give it back if you can and forget about it immediately.
In fact, money doesn't matter much to you at all. It's not that you wouldn't like a few extra dollars to spend on a new snowboard or a pair of sexy boots. But given the choice, you'd take glory over riches any day. You feel you need to earn the warmth and admiration of others with feats of daring-do. This could make you an effective boss, but a bad employee. I can already see your quarterly review marked "Does not take direction." It's not that you are a generally disrespectful person. You just don't understand why others are so hesitant, so incompetent.. so not as special as you. You might even say something insensitive without stopping to think.
Watch out, Aries: not everybody has your short memory. You're such a straight shooter you're bound to hurt some feelings with your honesty; if your co-workers, friends or partners are sensitive types, the bad blood might linger for a while. Not on your side, of course. You probably won't even notice anything is wrong until you find yourself getting the cold shoulder. At times like these, it's good to think back over recent events. When your partner asked if she was your best ever, did you answer honestly? Big mistake. Did you throw a tantrum when your friends wanted to watch "Monster" and you wanted "Mullholland Drive"? Play nice with others, Aries, or they might just call you out on it. And when they do, you'll turn on the waterworks. What could be more embarrassing?
i am an aries, lesbian, by the way.