Lesbian Cancer Astrology Profile

The Lesbian Cancer: You have a license to mother.

Can you promise me something, Cancer? When you feel a little down or depressed, lock yourself in a closet until it passes. Don't try to go out with your friends. Don't do it. I knew a Cancer, a beautiful woman, whose love life hit a dry spell. Instead of trolling the bar for a new cuddle buddy when we went out, she would drink two glasses of wine start to sob, moan, and let everyone know exactly how long it had been since she had gotten laid. You can imagine us, her friends, shifting uncomfortably in our skinny jeans and avoiding eye contact around the table. Talk about a buzz kill. Eventually we would take turns playing nanny for the evening, just in case things took a turn for the maudlin. 

Of course, this same girl (when well serviced) was the life of many a party, laughing her deep, throaty laugh at just about anything (Cancers love a good joke) and showing off her ample cleavage (many Cancers are so blessed). You Cancers do like to show off a bit -- I'm not saying you're the type wanton hussie who will dance on the tables or flash a stranger, but you like to look good and you like it when others express their appreciation. After all, when you see your soft skin and sensitive brown eyes in the mirror, you can't help but notice the resemblance to Sarah Shahi; so why shouldn't everybody else? When you feel good about yourself and have the security you crave, there's no more delightful companion at the bar or between the sheets.

Just be careful who you surround yourself with. Have you ever left butter uncovered in the refrigerator? Left exposed, it will pick up the scent of the spoiled milk on the shelf above it and the leftover spaghetti beneath. Appetizing, yes? You could say the butter's vulnerabiliy to bad smells is something like your own, so watch it or you'll start to taste fairly putrid. Make an effort to surround yourself with things that make you happy, like Ghirardelli chocolate and ginger tea. Who wouldn't want to eat that?

But it is a fine balance to strike, and Cancer, you are a sensitive one. The good news is that even though you are moody, your emotional outlook tends wax and wane with the moon, your sign's ruler. It would be easy for me to make a joke about mensuration here, and trust me, I'm holding myself back. But it's a low blow and I know you're trying to work through your issues with a therapist. You do have a therapist, right? Sorry, just making sure. Your friends know you mean well, and it definitely shows. There's no better listener, and the only secrets you spill are your own. You're someone people can count on, though much like your symbol, the crab, you have a round-a-bout way of lending a hand or, er, claw.

You might feel a friend's pain deeply, but that doesn't automatically mean you'll risk your own neck to be a savior. "Fools rush in where sensible lesbians fear to tread," might be your motto. On the other hand, you are too tender hearted to ever let someone you care about drown, whether in drama, debt or booze.  When you see a problem, you'll shuffle a few paces to the left and a few to the right to get a better angle on the situation, then just bide your time. For instance, if a friend of yours was cut off financially after coming out to her parents, your little heart might just swell with pity. But before you offer your assistance, you'd wait to see if she could get a job first, and maybe let her hit some other friends up for money. If someone else steps up to the plate, that's fine with you. But just before she's about to be evicted, you would swoop in with money from one of your many rainy day stashes and write a check.

A healthy savings account or two is one of the hallmarks of a Cancer. You're hardly stingy, but you're definitely thrifty. I knew another Cancer who always complained about being broke. Still, she had ample funds to spare for exotic vacations, good wine and a luxury car payment. Even if you don't have a knack for keeping money in the bank, there's a good chance you have an instinct for hoarding other things, whether it's just a very impressive coin jar, unopened beauty and bath products you got for your birthday, or clothes you bought on sale and haven't gotten around to wearing yet. I bet you keep your pantry well stocked. In fact, many Cancers are excellent chefs and even pursue their talent as a career. In your entourage, there's a good chance you're the mother hen, always trying to get everyone to eat and making sure they aren't too under-dressed for the weather.

As if to compliment or calm your churning emotional state, you are deeply conservative at your core. Though by conservative, I suppose I mean more Donna Reed than Rush Limbaugh. You need to know that, no matter how you feel, you have some place to crawl back to when you've worked yourself into a frenzy. The Cancer's home is her castle: it is to you what a crab's protective shell is to his delicious legs. It doesn't matter if you have a downtown loft decorated in leather and steel or a cozy country estate stuffed with wicker chairs and embroidered pillows. Whether you leave for a vacation in Spain or your daily commute, your homecoming will be your favorite part of the trip.

Since nesting is such a huge part of your identity, you've probably shacked up with more than your fair share of women you thought were "it." There's no flirting with you, Cancer -- every come on you get might as well be an offer to share same-sex partner benefits. Once you find your treasure, you'll hang on with both claws until everyone is bloody. Try to guard your heart against women who don't take love as seriously as you do, my dear. If nothing else, it will lead to some awkward evenings out.