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Lesbian Gemini Astrology Profile
Click on Pen above to listen to this months Gemini horoscope. |
The Lesbian Gemini: Best friend, Adderall.
Oh Gemini -- Double your pleasure, double your fun? Ha. As if you're as easy as the Sweet Valley High twins. Dr. Jeckyll and Madame Hyde are more like it. Your planetary ruler is Mercury, messenger of the gods. Sure enough, you have a yummy silver tongue and a gift for gab -- words, words, words are your stock and trade. And like the metal, too much exposure can drive a hatter mad.
Just trying to keep up is exhausting; and though you claim you don't want anyone to try, secretly you live for the looks of delighted surprise when you show up on your lover's doorstep after a week of not returning her phone calls -- and the looks of confusion when you slip out of a party unexpectedly, or keep a friend waiting at Vixen or Six Degrees. You're not there to witness, of course, but thinking of it as you glide towards your escape gets you off.
You barely have the attention span for a one night stand, let alone a committed relationship, though you do like sex as much as the next single girl. When Aretha Franklin complained that her love was like a seesaw, she must have been with a Gemini. You'll charm a woman right out of her shell with wit and devoted attention. Then when she's gushy and wet and ready for commitment, you'll outline your many flaws so convincingly she'll wonder what she saw in you to begin with.
Okay, fine -- Maybe you're not a total commitment-phobe. Perhaps, just perhaps, by the time you slide into the fleece jackets and crew cuts of middle age, you'll be a little less schizophrenic, ready to settle down with that special someone, buy a house outside Portland, join a fresh produce cooperative, and raise a few above-average children. Being a lesbian and all, there's a good chance you'll try cohabitation before you're ready -- but I wouldn't count on the longevity of any relationship in which one of the parties is a Gemini under 35. I'm just calling it like I see it. After all, Gemini Marilyn Monroe was thrice married by the age of 30.
On the upside, it's worth noting that Geminis are frequently hot -- in addition to Marilyn, there is Judy Garland, Isabella Rossellini and Nicole Kidman. Women who not only have beauty, but presence and talent. Gemini's split personalities make her an ideal actress. Maybe it's all that exercise you get from fidgeting, but you do have a knack for cheating death -- many Geminis keep their looks into a ripe old age. Rossellini, for instance, is still a beautiful woman; the less said about Nicole Kidman, the better.
I'm not calling you insincere, or even flaky. You're not a waffler like Libra, or a space cadet like Pisces. Indeed, you are passionately invested on whatever is right in front of you. Your knowledge goes a mile wide and an inch deep, and you have a firm opinion about everything -- until you change your mind. Some say you talk too fast, but if people listened faster they wouldn't have to play catchup.
No, I'm not faulting your understanding or intellect -- but what's at your core? Your uncanny ability to instantly understand all sides of the question makes you a veritable shape shifter. One minute, you're arguing passionately for the right to marry. Then, when someone tells you Lisa and Beth are getting hitched, you scowl and remind everyone that marriage is a patriarchal institution developed to oppress women. When you get the wedding invite, you'll R.S.V.P. but decide at the last second you don't want to show up. You'll send a gift, off the registry, of course: a perversely ugly vase that will clutter up the attic. Six months later, you'll send along a set of Henckels knives.
It's the same thing with friends and lovers: one day, you'll admire a friend's loyalty and the next you'll call her stodgy and boring to her face. Friends you admire for their good taste and partying ways are also unbearable flakes who should really pick up a newspaper sometime and read about the crisis in Darfur. You're a veritable judgement machine. If you start feeling aggressive, take a good look in the mirror and apply that objective rationality to your own character. Intelligent people who needlessly criticize may find themselves in the supermarket on Friday night, buying cottage cheese and Fancy Feast.
Okay, I lied. You're the life of the party, on everyone's guest list. For one thing, you make yourself a rare commodity and that raises your stock. For another, you're just plain delightful to have around when you're feeling manic. Nobody can tell an anecdote or whip out a bon mot like you. You'll suavely tell a joke about the time a plumber, a lesbian and Hannah Montana walked into a bar while stirring up a cocktail you just read about in Diva Magazine. You make it look easy, and that's part of the appeal. You throw excellent parties yourself, aided by your love of being in twenty places at once -- taking coats, pouring out wine, paying compliments and introducing the right people while still finding time for a makeout session in the bathroom.
If I've been harsh, it's only because I care. More than any other sign, Gemini says, "I think, therefore I am." But people who lead with their hearts are generally happier. Maybe the right mix is putting all that thought power in to If you decide to devote your attention to a cause, or more likely, ten causes, your energy and drive will win hearts and minds. You're a one woman ivory tower, and I wouldn't be surprised if you ended up in academia studying philosophy and gabbing it up with your students. You're an asset to any industry that involves communication. Journalism would give your curiosity an outlet. You'd get to talk to people all day long, and as soon as your story was published you could move on to something new.
bt understand that 1st nd foremost, I am Tiffany. Tiffany is sweet nd self-scraficing. Funny, talkative, genuine, loving. I give every part of me to the people who derserve it nd even to those who don't. I have a fiancee whom I have been with for 3 years nd I love her beyond anything imaginable. I'm only 21 bt I know that I want a family. I want a wife to love until the end of time.
So I'll leave you with this.
"I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." - Marilyn Monroe
This is so insanely true. Winning over a Gemini woman is child's play but keeping one is akin to being a lion tamer without any sort of tools to tame with. Couldn't be more true about Gemini's under 35 - absolutely out to break hearts and take names and then have a way to ensure it anyone's fault but their own... one roller coaster ride I'm glad I'm off of... sex was good but that's about ALL a Gemini has to offer in a relationship until they get their heart broken as hard and as harshly as they do it.