Lesbian Taurus Astrology Profile

Good old Taurus -- Practical, earthy.... greedy. Oh sure, you're a hard worker. But there's nobody like you for relaxing on your 2,000 thread count sheets and eating Godiva chocolates after a good roll in the hay. Perhaps you like to think of yourself as a raging bull, but I'm here to tell you what you're friends won't: you're a stubborn old cow. I'm lookin' at you, Margret Thatcher. Okay, that was low. And for what it's worth, not even true. Katherine Hepburn was one of your people, however, and she's an excellent example. So steely you could believe it when she played a doctor, a lawyer or an African missionary, but utterly convincing as a pampered socialite. She's also proof that Taureans aren't all fat, so take comfort in that. You like rich cakes and candies, is all I'm saying. Keep an eye on your blood pressure.

You're not a bad person, and not even a stingy one, not even a boring one. Once you've built your empire and landed your 5th Avenue penthouse through a combination of hard work and dumb luck, you'll kick back and entertain your friends with good music and better food. You'll be in the news for plunking down a record amount on a Georgia O'Keefe. You would also appreciate a harem, but if you decide to settle down with a partner she'll be the Anne Boleyn to your Henry VIII -- and you won't even behead her when you're through, you saint.

Of course, no woman could ever keep your eye from wandering but you have a knack for being faithful to the ones you love. Putting down roots, if you will -- after all, yours is an earth sign. Life is a chance to build empires and move mountains. You don't need a lot of recognition for this -- unlike your opposite, the fiery Scorpio, who sees herself as leader and queen protector of all womynkind. You hardly care about the principle of any matter, as long as you come out on top of someone's face. As far as you're concerned, it's enough that people know who wears the big udders. You don't need to Moo about it.

This is not to say you never loose your cool. Did I mention you have a wandering eye? You also have a raging double standard. If your date flirts with the hostess a minute more than is necessary for a good table, you're liable to charge. Other turn-offs? People who talk down to you, people who ask you to hurry up, and processed cheese. There's just no reason for any of it. Turn-ons? Because you're ruled by Venus, the sensual is extremely important to you. Whether or not you're an artist, you like to excite each of your senses, especially before you excite your erogenous zones. Of the five, scent is probably the most important. I'll bet if you splurge on just one thing, it's scented candles, soap or massage oil. You shop at Pier One and dream of Fragonard (Ah France! Where the perfume is so good you don't need a shower). But just about anything beautiful greases your wheel. You love a stroll through the museum or a night out at the opera -- and not just so you can stare down at the cleavage from the balcony. Culture is dear to you -- it satisfies both your need for beauty and your need for order.

So yes, you're just a material girl in a material world -- one that you would like to own. And you probably will, damn you. Leave it to signs to strive and dream for what you might just pull off. In the most boring way possible. Why stay up all night and have absinthe-fueled flashes of mad inspiration when you can get your to-do list accomplished between nine and five, then pass out at eleven after the L-Word? You're so sane, sometimes I wonder what makes you tick. You also have an infuriating way of assuming nobody could possibly be as sane as you, so much so that you tend to undervalue the considered opinions of others. You'd better watch it or they'll be asking who died and made you Judge Judy.

Which is to say, you'll go far in the professional world. I know Taureans who build bridges and make websites, teach kids and run restaurants. Farming is a traditional Taurean concern, and there probably are quite a few women who have decided to migrate from the city to upstate New York to cultivate organic radishes. But these days, that's quite a thing to demand of our metro goddesses. Stick to your herb garden, is all I'm saying, or grow some potted palms. You might find you have a green thumb. Taureans do like to take eco-vacations. I wouldn't be totally shocked if you volunteered your vacation time to help scientists determine the wolf/moose ratio in Alaska, but if nothing else you'll drag your girlfriend away for a week of tribbing under the stars. Something about the blue sky and the green grass makes you want to chew someone's cud.

Not that you'll ever get caught for public indecency. You're a rather solid citizen. Outside the Caligula act you do on weekends, you're most commonly seen in a pantsuit, buckling your safety belt. You pay taxes, vote and plant trees. You're even tolerant of people who live alternative lifestyles (you have a lot of sympathy for the furries). Given your love for stability, you probably devote a reasonable amount of time to lesbian rights -- you'd love to get married after all. Your digestion, if I may be so bold, is excellent -- it's as though you have four stomachs. You might get an occasional cough, but you tend to be very healthy. If you don't let your massive ego get in the way, you might be very happy. Boring. Stubborn. But happy.